The best insurance policy against burnout is a hobby

so why are we gatekeeping hobbies with this terrible advice?

I used to think hobbies weren’t for someone like me.

I was a working mom with young kids—not a retiree, not someone with an “easy” job, and definitely (and sadly) not a trust-fund life winner. Hobbies were for them. I had to produce. How was I supposed to have a hobby?

Maybe you’ve wondered the same thing.

Because whenever I talk about hobbies, I hear two objections:

“I don’t have time,” and “I don’t know what to try.”

In my day job as a marketing professor, I’m deep in the data. And what I see is that the average person spends 2 hours and 24 minutes a day on social media. So when someone says, “I don’t have time for a hobby,” they must mean, “A hobby isn’t a priority.” I bet you do have time!

In the past year, I have been successful in finding huge swatches of time. Some were scheduling tweaks, others a shift in perspective:

• Reducing scrolling (duh!)

• Cutting back on beauty appointments (no manicures, lashes, tans, etc.)

• Trading off evening childcare duties with my partner so we could dedicate one night to a hobby

• Accepting that I will meet my professional goals at a slower pace

Making these changes created space in my life for hobbies—and that space has changed everything. Because, believe me, there is a version of my life where I’m burned out, anxious, and suffering from insomnia (I know, I’ve been there). 

I’ve been able to solve for burnout, create work/life balance and develop real boundaries because I found hobbies that I love enough to prioritize. I’ll get into those today!

Maybe you are open to trying hobbies and feel like you could find the time. What you’re left wondering, then, is how do you find a hobby you love?

The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad advice we give about finding hobbies

We tell adults seeking a hobby to think back to their childhood. What did you love to play… Horses, tennis, drawing? But the more I’ve studied hobbies, the more disillusioned I’ve become with using our childhood as the launching point for finding an adult hobby.

First, it assumes privilege. A childhood with horseback riding, tennis lessons, and art classes is a lucky one. Not everyone had that—and it shouldn’t mean fewer options now.

Second, it assumes we’re the same people. To a certain degree we are who we are, but what we choose for a hobby is subject to evolving with each life stage.

Limiting ourselves to childhood preferences may work for some, but for many of us, finding the right hobby is going to require trial and error and it does require bravery to be a beginner.

Much of what I’ve learned about hobbies comes from running an experiment where I spent time with 17 hobbyists, immersing myself in their hobby love affair. I’ve now had hundreds of conversations with people who have found their hobby. Their stories have made me a full-fledged believer that hobbies are our best insurance policy against burnout:

• An overworked academic who joined a choir

• A dad in Atlanta (a very hot place) who plays in a men’s hockey league
  A mom with a newborn who picked up archery

• A 40-year-old mom of 3 who taught herself to ski

• A student recovering from perfectionism who picked up aerial dancing

• A woman who moved to a new town and found her community through a sailing club (never having sailed before)

• A business owner dad who has an entire room dedicated to his Lego village

If you only read the headlines the world is a terrible place. When you talk to hobbyists, life is quite beautiful.

My hobby stack

There’s an adage I love: For optimal well-being have a hobby for your body, a hobby for your brain and a hobby for your creativity.

I know that can sound prescriptive, like three more things to add to an overloaded to-do list.

It’s not really about checking boxes (and I wouldn’t start by trying to find all three). Think of it as a helpful guide. In a world where the average knowledge job lasts four years, kids are guaranteed to grow up, and the typical marriage lasts just eight years—your hobby might be the most stable thing you have.

Winston Churchill, who carried more weight on his shoulders than any of us ever will, wrote, “Painting is complete as a distraction. I know of nothing which, without exhausting the body, more entirely absorbs the mind.”

Isn’t that what we’re all after? A true hobby is a way to be so utterly absorbed by something that your brain goes completely quiet. That’s what I’m looking for anyway… hobbies are the only way I have found of going completely off duty.

For my body: Tennis

There are 270,000 tennis courts in the US so do not for a second think tennis = exclusive. Tennis has introduced me to Atlanta neighborhoods I didn’t know existed, and I have teammates who are in their 60s.

I started playing tennis as a 38-year-old and it’s a full-fledged love affair. Tennis absorbs my whole brain. My to-do soundtrack turns off! It’s physical, strategic like chess, and you can play until you’re 80 (maybe beyond!).

As if it couldn’t get any better, I am in the best shape of my life. As someone who doesn’t go to the gym or run or do burpees, being strong in my 40s is a welcome plot twist.

These are my favorite tennis items for warm weather months:

Look 1: scalloped dress, Look 2: best white top for 90 degree days, black skirt, Look 3: navy top, green skirt, Look 4: navy dress with white stripe

For my mind: Mahjong

When I ran my hobby experiment, I knew within 10 minutes that mahjong was going to stick. It demands full concentration. Lose focus and you lose the game.

I now have three regular mahjong games. One is with women in my neighborhood. One is with my best friend—we play a two-player version called Siamese, where you're playing two hands at once (no Charleston). My favorite might be playing Siamese with my husband. We open a bottle of wine, decompress, and call it date night. It’s way cheaper than a babysitter!

You can get fancy tiles but I promise these under $80 work just the same (I have them) and they also come with racks, I did splurge on the mat. All supplies here.

For my creativity: Home DIY

Home DIY is my favorite creative outlet. I do light woodworking, painting, wallpapering—you name it. I design every space myself. I love to be in beautiful spaces, and when I walk into a space I created, it’s that much more satisfying.

one of my favorite rooms that I designed in our house

Take Home Assignment

Hobbies aren’t frivolous. They’re the best insurance policy we have against burnout. For those of us who struggle with meditation, they are a way to quiet the mind. You don’t need to find your forever hobby tomorrow! You just have to be curious enough to try something new.

If you already have a hobby you love, tell us about it in the comments. If you’re searching for one, tell us what you’re looking for and we’ll ideate for you.

Confidently yours,

Marina

P.S. You can do something to help me that will take you less than 1 second. Please give this post a ❤️ if you found it valuable. It really, truly helps with discovery. 🙏

What I’m reading:

• I read a biography or non-fiction on my Kindle Paperwhite as my simmer down nightly sleep aid. I recently finished Snowball (Warren Buffet’s biography) which I highly recommend. I read Greenlights in a few days and also recommend (Matthew McConaughey’s autobiography, also recommend). I started The Soundtrack of My Life (Clive Davis’ autobiography). Seeing this on the page, I need to find a women’s story next!

• I cannot stop thinking about this piece on AI writing by Will Store. There were a few best-selling Substacks (like tens of thousands of paid subscriber) that I tried to read and would find myself confused. The words and sentences seemed profound and yet I couldn’t understand what they meant all together. Now I understand why.

What I am wearing from my own closet:

1. A black linen dress for a night out (similar here and here). Paired with my necklace of summer.

2. I was influenced by an IG community member who DM’d me saying, “This is so you.” She was right! It’s green and white stripes, embroidery, scallops, and a 100% cotton lining. I’m pleased as punch I took a chance on this.

3. I’ve had this cream knitted top for 5 years and will be heart-broken when it wears out. I will replace it instantly as it goes with everything. Similar versions: high and low.

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