Yes! That stuck with me. And, actually, the very luckiest of us, in any country, will feel exactly that. It's taken me quite a few careers to thread that needle.
I loved reading this, as a bit of a Danophile myself. They have such high confidence in their institutions in a way we just don’t here in America. I personally feel like that has to change before people would be willing to pay the tax rates necessary for this level of service. It’s a chicken and egg problem, I think. My other observation is that it’s an incredibly homogenous society with very little racial and ethnic diversity. You have spent more time there than I have but my impression is that it’s less possible for outsiders to thrive there.
I love that you are trying to bring the best of Danish culture into American workplaces and homes!
I'm aligned with everything you said. I dont think our chicken & egg problem will resolve - I had a bit written about that and decided to delete it because I'm at a point where I've throw my hands up in the air in terms of politics...BUT rather than give up, I think we can change corporate and family culture to expect more balance so I'm putting my efforts there.
After swimming through 500 plus emails! I finally got to read your substack and I am so glad to get a chance to read your substack about myths in Denmark. I love this! I have been following Danish accounts on social media for a while now. Nothing in your story surprised me. I was laughing at the "When in Denmark..." comments because I find myself saying the same thing.
Believe it or not, I have Unsubscribed so many times. It feels like that story about cutting off one thing and ten things grow to replace the one thing cut off. I am trying to recall if it was from a Greek myth or something. I managed to clear the inbox. Today it is more manageable.
The primary parent thing is HUGE! The thought of automatically being that is one thing that makes me fearful of becoming a mom—despite believing kids are great and can bring so much meaning to life. Oh to have shared primary parenting be the norm here in the States.
We are closer now than 10 years ago, right? Dads are clocking more hours with kids than ever before so that's a huge leap. Now we need them to remember water bottles and a sweatshirt (and sunscreen!) and we'll be all set.
Loved this! My very first business was named “Hygge Wellness” because I’m also a Danophile!! :) The “I have to move to Denmark to be happy” one is so tricky because for so many Americans, it WOULD vastly improve their happiness since they’d get access to healthcare, childcare, education, gun reform, etc. (if they became citizens, of course). Of course they would still have struggle in their life and stresses elsewhere in their day/family, but so much of the day-to-day worry of being an American would be resolved or greatly improved. But as a privileged American, I think a lot of the reasons I want to move there are more ‘arrival fallacy’ based because I (wrongly) believe that moving there will make me forget, or not care, about what’s happening here.
This reminds me of a TV ad for Robinsons lemon barley water. Two commentators at Wimbledon, one American and the other British. The Yank talks non-stop through the match. The Limey just calls out the scores. At the end, one is exhausted and drenched in sweat and the other is cool and sipping barley water. While Americans are on the hamster wheel of work, Danes are sipping barley water.
#2 struck me. America promotes individualism. So you end up being responsible for everything. While opportunities are created from this to become really rich, it's not the norm. I wonder, in Denmark, if there is a fear of being fired? In our country, I think that exists and it fuels competing against coworkers and overworked burnout. Because when you get fired, there's an insufficient safety net in place and you pay for your own retraining. Becoming homeless is a stark reality.
This resonates with me deeply. From my observation, the incentive structure in corporate America in the US promotes individual success. And of course we are wired to optimize to how we are being incentivized. But it creates a culture of fear -fear of failure, fear of being laid off, etc etc.
Marina, do you have any insights into how performance management systems work in Denmark? I’m intrigued to know if there are any learnings there we can apply.
It is *almost* like the social democracy model works (wink wink). I have been living in the US for 11 years and will never understand the hatred for paying taxes!
your wink wink is perfect. Literally I'm over here slow clapping. Thanks for saying what I didn't because I'd rather let the evidence speak for itself :)
As a business school professor, I hate paying US taxes so seeing people have a different relationship with them has been one of the more shocking parts of studying Denmark.
I loved this! I specifically loved the “running to work. And running to home after work”. Both can be true 🩷
Yes! That stuck with me. And, actually, the very luckiest of us, in any country, will feel exactly that. It's taken me quite a few careers to thread that needle.
I loved reading this, as a bit of a Danophile myself. They have such high confidence in their institutions in a way we just don’t here in America. I personally feel like that has to change before people would be willing to pay the tax rates necessary for this level of service. It’s a chicken and egg problem, I think. My other observation is that it’s an incredibly homogenous society with very little racial and ethnic diversity. You have spent more time there than I have but my impression is that it’s less possible for outsiders to thrive there.
I love that you are trying to bring the best of Danish culture into American workplaces and homes!
I'm aligned with everything you said. I dont think our chicken & egg problem will resolve - I had a bit written about that and decided to delete it because I'm at a point where I've throw my hands up in the air in terms of politics...BUT rather than give up, I think we can change corporate and family culture to expect more balance so I'm putting my efforts there.
After swimming through 500 plus emails! I finally got to read your substack and I am so glad to get a chance to read your substack about myths in Denmark. I love this! I have been following Danish accounts on social media for a while now. Nothing in your story surprised me. I was laughing at the "When in Denmark..." comments because I find myself saying the same thing.
go on an unsubscribe mission! clear that inbox (I hope you'll keep prof off duty but mostly I want you to have peace)
My husband is rolling his eyes before I even finish my statement :)
Believe it or not, I have Unsubscribed so many times. It feels like that story about cutting off one thing and ten things grow to replace the one thing cut off. I am trying to recall if it was from a Greek myth or something. I managed to clear the inbox. Today it is more manageable.
The primary parent thing is HUGE! The thought of automatically being that is one thing that makes me fearful of becoming a mom—despite believing kids are great and can bring so much meaning to life. Oh to have shared primary parenting be the norm here in the States.
We are closer now than 10 years ago, right? Dads are clocking more hours with kids than ever before so that's a huge leap. Now we need them to remember water bottles and a sweatshirt (and sunscreen!) and we'll be all set.
Now I want to move to Denmark! Really incredible what they’ve built.
It's tiny but SO mighty. 6 million people driving such massive innovation and global companies.
I love this list so much, I feel like we need a follow-up on hygge and small things we can incorporate into our US live styles!
This is on my list of things to write! So grateful to have this community that cares about getting hygge ;)
“Failure beer” and “failure cake”—so amazing! Making failure a win is huge. Also, very intriguing how work and hobbies are integrated.
There's so comfortable with it. Just no shame in getting it wrong. I'm still learning that lesson.
Loved this! My very first business was named “Hygge Wellness” because I’m also a Danophile!! :) The “I have to move to Denmark to be happy” one is so tricky because for so many Americans, it WOULD vastly improve their happiness since they’d get access to healthcare, childcare, education, gun reform, etc. (if they became citizens, of course). Of course they would still have struggle in their life and stresses elsewhere in their day/family, but so much of the day-to-day worry of being an American would be resolved or greatly improved. But as a privileged American, I think a lot of the reasons I want to move there are more ‘arrival fallacy’ based because I (wrongly) believe that moving there will make me forget, or not care, about what’s happening here.
I can't believe your business was called Hygge Wellness! What was the business?
A health coaching business using principles of hygge for busy working professionals!!
INCREDIBLE!! We are two peas in a pod.
This reminds me of a TV ad for Robinsons lemon barley water. Two commentators at Wimbledon, one American and the other British. The Yank talks non-stop through the match. The Limey just calls out the scores. At the end, one is exhausted and drenched in sweat and the other is cool and sipping barley water. While Americans are on the hamster wheel of work, Danes are sipping barley water.
#2 struck me. America promotes individualism. So you end up being responsible for everything. While opportunities are created from this to become really rich, it's not the norm. I wonder, in Denmark, if there is a fear of being fired? In our country, I think that exists and it fuels competing against coworkers and overworked burnout. Because when you get fired, there's an insufficient safety net in place and you pay for your own retraining. Becoming homeless is a stark reality.
This resonates with me deeply. From my observation, the incentive structure in corporate America in the US promotes individual success. And of course we are wired to optimize to how we are being incentivized. But it creates a culture of fear -fear of failure, fear of being laid off, etc etc.
Marina, do you have any insights into how performance management systems work in Denmark? I’m intrigued to know if there are any learnings there we can apply.
It is *almost* like the social democracy model works (wink wink). I have been living in the US for 11 years and will never understand the hatred for paying taxes!
your wink wink is perfect. Literally I'm over here slow clapping. Thanks for saying what I didn't because I'd rather let the evidence speak for itself :)
As a business school professor, I hate paying US taxes so seeing people have a different relationship with them has been one of the more shocking parts of studying Denmark.
No.5 blew.my.mind!!!!!
Can you imagine that happening here?!
I almost wish a sickness upon myself while in Denmark so I can go through the process myself.
Or the incentive for limitless free espresso
Fantastic reflections!
Thank you Barbara! My interest in this topic has no limit.
I really love these posts. I love how your obsession with the Danish lifestyle became part of your instruction.
I love that too, I really think my students can sense my enthusiasm and it makes them more excited and open.